uandiklinique

WHAT MAKES A MAN

Babatunde Oladipupo B.Sc/Ed, M.Ed

“Emotional Intelligence as a man in handling situations from singlehood – fatherhood. Our society deserves men who are mentally stable”

Introduction

Emotional intelligence is the concept, which is currently in focus among the general public, practitioners and researchers. It’s being widely believed by the public that emotional and social competence is as important, or even more important, than traditional dimension of intellectual ability and personality (Goleman, 1995, 1998). Emotional intelligence is defined  as “the  composite  set of  capabilities that  enable a  person to  manage himself/herself and others” (Goleman,  1995, 1998). “It is more accurate to say that the frequency with which  a person demonstrates or uses the constituent capabilities, or competencies, inherent in emotional intelligence determine the ways in which he/ she deals with themselves, their life, work and others”

Today it is widely believed, among the general public and academics alike, that the female gender is linked with better knowledge of emotions.

Emotional Intelligence has proven to be a relevant construct in different domain of daily life, including mental and physical health, social functioning, and academic and workplace performance

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional intelligence has been defined, by Peter Salovey and John Mayer, as “the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior”.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY

Emotional stability is a desirable trait. It means you can withstand difficult situations, handle adversity, and remain productive and capable throughout. Some people get to a certain point in their lives when they realize that they are not as emotionally stable as they would like to be

The definition of stable is something steady that is not prone to change, someone who is level headed and who isn’t subject to wild swings of emotion. An example of stable is a product that has a steady and unchanging price. An example of stable is a person who has a good handle on her life and her emotions.

Salovay and Mayer originally described it as: “The ability to perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”

This was subsequently amended and simplified to: “The ability to perceive emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, understand emotions and to regulate emotions to promote personal growth.”

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The popularity of the Goleman’s model arises in part from its accessibility and in part from its description of a range of component skills and conscious abilities that are available to be worked on and improved in the real world. Goleman describes five main components to Emotional Intelligence:

1. Self-awareness

This is the ability to recognise and understand personal moods, emotions and drives and the effect of them on both self and others. Self-awareness depends on one’s ability to monitor one’s own emotional state and to correctly identify and name the emotions being felt.

Developing this ability is essential for realistic self-assessment and builds self-confidence and the ability to take oneself less seriously.

• Self-regulation

This is the ability to control or re- direct disruptive emotional impulses and moods. It involves the ability to suspend judgement and delay action to allow time for thought. From a neuroscientific perspective, you can frequently observe this skill, or lack of it, by watching response times.

If an angry client is in rapid-fire mode responding to what you say in less than about half a second then it is very likely that they are not giving conscious thought to what is being said to them. Those with this ability will frequently demonstrate trustworthiness, integrity, comfort, with ambiguity and openness to change.

• Internal motivation

Frequently seen within veterinary professionals, internal motivation is about working with and for an inner vision of what is important, a curiosity and desire for learning and development, a drive that goes beyond external rewards such as money or status.

There is often a strong drive to achieve, optimism even in the face of failure and organisational commitment. There are also risks, particularly in the presence of an undue sense of perfectionism.

• Empathy

This relates to the ability to understand the emotional make-up of others and the skill to treat people according to their emotional reactions. It includes skills in building and maintaining relationships with those we come into contact with on a daily basis.

Though central to a service profession, empathy can tend to be somewhat less well developed in those with an isolated background and an intensive/competitive scientific training. Empathy often does, but does not necessarily, imply compassion; it can be used for both good and bad.

• Social skills

This involves the ability to manage relationships, build networks, find common ground and build rapport. It will often help when leading change, being persuasive, building expertise and getting great performance from teams.

Whilst complex and somewhat uncertain, Emotional Intelligence reflects a central set of competences within what it is to be a veterinary professional.

Education in this area remains basic within the profession but in the increasingly more challenging environment ahead it may make the difference between success and failure.

THE TRAITS OF AN EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE MAN

1. The person easily angry and make people upset

This person commonly makes jokes or says something without thinking about the consequences. They easily become angry and upset over a single thing not being as they expect.

2. The person has no commitment to do things

A person with stable emotion is capable to keep their commitments in whatever they do, including being on time. They will arrive in time and fulfill their promises.

3. The person has a dramatic family 

Sometimes, someone’s character can be seen from their family. If they don’t have loving, care, and reliable relatives, they tend to be emotionally unstable. 

4. Have no empathy 

This person has no sensitivity about others. You can see this sign from their response when you face a certain situation. Commonly, someone with no empathy likes to talk about themselves instead of giving an emphatic or supportive response toward others.

5. He/she tries to one-up you 

When you make a statement, your partner always tries to beat your statement with his/hers. They do not want you to become a center of the conversation, so they will try to one-up you. 

6. The person acts stiff to others 

An emotionally unstable person does not know how to express gratitude and tries to gain a benefit from others. They will be fine with themselves even when they ignore people as long as they get something. 

7. The person cannot admit own mistakes 

Never admitting their own fault is a sign that they lack emotional skills. The will lie and make excuses instead of confessing the mistakes. 

8. Fear of critics and rejection 

A person without unstable emotion cannot deal with critics, evaluation, or negative comments from others. They tend to have a mood swing and fearful of being criticized or rejected. 

9. Run from a problem 

If you have a partner who does not willing to talk or have a discussion to solve problems, she/he may be emotionally unstable. They tend to hide from responsibilities rather than dealing with it. 

10. Has a dramatic story in the past 

It is better for you to dig stories of the past of your prospective partner before you commit to going out with this person. If they’re ever in a short-time relationship before you, it means that they cannot maintain a stable relationship for a long time.